Help a girl out!

Just a quickie! I want to know if I'm being rational or an absolute crazy lady!

My boyfriend & I live together, have two puppies together, we're best friends, if I'm ridiculously cheesetastic I would say that we are soul mates, but I wont go that far...wait I just did! Our souls were destined to meet and share our material lives together..anyway...

I think it was pretty clear from early on in our relationship that this was the one. I've had long-term relationships before, and I've never felt relaxed. Like "yep, this is it, perfection", which has not been good for my waistline, but there's no need to venture down that road. I've been positive for a long time that he will be my husband, and we've discussed this in detail and thank god he feels the same. Whenever it came up, it was never even an awkward conversation, like "do you think we'll get married?" awkward silence... "umm sure". He would just say 'of course we will, maybe in 3 or 4 years time".

So anyway! I mentioned to him that for my 21st birthday this summer I would like to go to America for a week. I then made a joke to the dogs that 'daddy would be proposing to mummy on a beach on her 21st birthday and make it a completely magical day' to which he dropped a cup and I think we both realised the cat was out of the bag. I now feel absolutely terrible. I keep finding myself looking at engagement rings whilst he's not in the room, then he'll borrow my laptop and mention that 'if I want to let him know the type of ring I'd like, he'd appreciate the help'. I feel like I've ruined the surprise, so if he does propose this year, I'll already see it coming. Which I don't mind at all, but I really think he does. Has anyone got engaged recently? Did you know it was coming? Did he know you knew? Did it matter?!

My friend recently got engaged to her boyfriend and she was completely caught off guard. But she'd been hinting subtly..."I would like to be engaged the same time as my sister...who's engaged now...who's getting married soon..." I feel so guilty! I don't mind knowing as I'm more excited about the marriage aspect, yet I think Russell was really happy about his engagement plan and now I've ruined the surprise!

Ahh, what to do! Help!